Broadening right up, We started initially to concentrate on the differences when considering Italy and you can Kosovo with regards to expertise life, specifically about any of it issue. Discover a term who’s got always been used by Albanian someone and i also both still pay attention to. When a guy gets partnered, mom and dad and you can family relations say, “We partnered him.” That will not make feel conceptually, one chooses to marry and you may does it. It is far from the others who go for you.
I desired to learn that way out-of identifying anything, and so i chose to discover Lek Dukagjini’s “Kanun.” In this text, Perhaps I discovered an answer. In one of the articles, it claims that everybody works with matrimony apart from the happy couple. This is exactly why it seems sensible to state that “i married him.” As the at the time, all of the ilies worried. The happy couple didn’t take care of something, sometimes they did not even prefer otherwise eg one another.
Minutes keeps changed and you also usually do not read about cases like those more – at least, I’m hoping not. But an effective germ of this attitude possess remained. The stress exerted of the family relations and you will loved ones requirements both you and leads you to make particularly a choice.
Just what enjoys stayed widespread is the thought of “giving” otherwise “taking” a lady. Right now, female nonetheless tune in to off their families that it is ideal for them to learn how to manage certain matters home, since when they get off for their husbands they will not have to look crappy. Things such as cleaning the home, food preparation, serving caj (tea) and stuff like that.
The idea the lady is the object of kid is still there. Something her latest blog which a dad decides to hand out or otherwise not. That is what leads of a lot to track down partnered shortly after a primary time of knowing both, because usually goes you to definitely an effective women’s father looks and you will tells the brand new son to choose what direction to go – marry or avoid – because their girl is not a model.
The female intercourse remains seen as an object
Expanding right up, In addition realized that most of the stereotypes in which Europeans was basically revealed in addition to applied to all of us. Individuals become divorcing, the good news is. We claim that while the I imagine the lifetime of a woman, offered in-marriage or maybe even married from the her very own will, locked up at home because of the stereotypical Albanian guy, exactly who prevents you against venturing out and you can undertaking regular societal items. We thought this woman choosing the bravery – through a very discover society – to depart you to home and go back to versatility.
The idea of breakup nearly didn’t occur for all of us, as the people don’t challenge to go away the guy it partnered. But I came across that our somebody likewise have lovers, which our some body together with get married for personal acquire. In short, that individuals aren’t much better than someone else. We’re not perfect additionally the “others” commonly the newest demon.
I know if I wed an Albanian woman, everything would be marvelous.
Including being lucky enough to enhance right up inside a developed nation eg Italy, having been capable data and not having needed to alive through the conflict, I have the large chance of experiencing two parents that never ever helped me end up being this type of pressure. But I’m it anyway, because that care was born in my personal head very long ago.
Basically wed to a non-Albanian woman, exactly how commonly my personal parents be seen? Exactly how am i going to be considered? Who will reach the house once the a guest in the event that my personal wife cannot chat Albanian? Have a tendency to she ever before go Kosovo? Exactly how can we term our kids? Usually our children cam Albanian?